Why I need this…

Something has to change.

My options: a) Move up a pants size, or b) take a hard look at my eating habits.

It’s not just the pants size. Call me vain (like my dear friend, Rachel), but I’ve fit the same clothes since puberty. That’s 15 YEARS of consistency. I know our metabolism changes as we get older, but this can’t happen. Not to me. I work out regularly, I love yoga, I’ve run multiple 5Ks, a 10K, and two half-marathons, I even competed in an all-female triathlon. While that may not be the most impressive list of accomplishments as far as  fitness is concerned, it is for me. I do not come from a family of health-conscious exercisers. I had to develop that on my own. I almost feel like a failure allowing it to get to this point. I’m also a licensed professional counselor; self-care is basically a counselor’s jam. If I’m having a more significant weight increase than usual, I’m pretty sure that falls under self-care issues…

I also need a change in energy levels. I can get 7-9 hours of sleep a night, and I’m exhausted all day. I’ve had plenty of bloodwork done. All of my levels are normal. I also have lower back and hip pain. Bone and joint inflammation is not uncommon for me.

And my skin…redness, splotchy, acne-prone, wrinkles. I use top-of-the-line skincare with minimal results. I’m betting diet could be a factor.

Something has to change.

My weight gain did not happen randomly. Four months ago, my husband (Anthony) and I moved to Virginia. I’m a first-year doctoral student at Virginia Tech. Life has been quite a whirlwind. We married in May, backpacked for a month for our honeymoon, moved across the country, and have been hustling ever since…

(The view of our backyard in Virginia…gorgeous, right?!) 

My schedule is erratic. I’m an incredibly structured person, but let’s be real. There is only so much time in a day to plan for health. I need to be held accountable for what I am setting out to do. Accountability starts with this blog.

Last semester, I had 12 hours of class, 10 hours of clinical internship, 20 hours of my graduate assistantship, and 2.5 hours of supervision. This does not include reading, writing, and research. In my personal life, I’m the newlywed wife of a pilot and the mother of 2 dogs and a cat.

So, when does a doc student exercise? Yoga classes are out. Most of them don’t fit in my schedule, and we are now living on the income of a flight instructor (modest) and a graduate assistant (meager).

That first week of school, I woke up at 5 AM to exercise. This was not uncommon when training for any of my past races. But, on the third day, I woke up crying and almost had a panic attack. With so much transition and the start of my doctoral student identity development, the pressure I had started to place on myself to exercise was overbearing. I decided exercise could fit in my life in a more reasonable fashion and I would back off. I moved to waking up at 6 AM and exercising for around 30 minutes 3x/week. This is a huge decrease from my previous exercise routine. Throw in a few travels for conferences, a few visits from friends back home, and the holidays–BAM!

This can’t continue to happen.

I need to be held accountable for my health. Sugar is my drug of choice, and I consume my weight of it (especially chocolate!). I’m also in a personal and intimate relationship with carbs.

Something has to change.

My early attempts at health included those 3x/week workouts that I mentioned. I was using Kayla Itsines’s BBG and modifying it for short morning workouts since I am so limited on time. I’ll continue to do this and follow the plan, modifying where needed. But, I need to run again. I miss the stress relief, and my body misses the cardio. I’ve made so many excuses, including lack of time and cold weather. I need to make it a point to at least run 2x/week on the treadmill at the gym, around campus, in my neighborhood, WHATEVER. But, it needs to happen.

I also need to incorporate a yoga practice at home 1-2x/week, even if it is for 15 minutes. That always helped to center me, and I really abandoned it this semester to sleep in, sit longer on the couch, watch Netflix, study, etc..

All of those exercise attempts are fine and dandy, but I am going to start controlling my diet. I heard about the Whole30 on one of my many pilot wife Facebook groups. I read the website and a couple blogs, texted a few people that I knew had some experience with it, and I purchased the audiobook to listen to on the long drive back to Virginia from Louisiana next week. Meal prep starts when we return to VA, and this life style change begins on January 15th (mostly to align with a Facebook support group starting at this time).

For those that haven’t heard of the Whole30, the goal is to understand and explore your relationship with food by eliminating unhelpful food groups. Meat, seafood, vegetables, fruit, and healthy fats make up the majority of the compliant foods. (This is hard for me, because eating meat often brings me guilt. I’m not a vegetarian, but I’ve always wished to be. Maybe that can be another goal at another time.) The creators ask you to commit just 30 days. Just one month of your life to allow your body to learn how to process energy using healthy food and to break its addiction to sugar, carbs, dairy, etc. I may die giving up cheese and chocolate, but the Whole30 allows for reintroduction to these foods after a month so that you can see how your body responds to it. Many bloggers say your relationship and consumption of these foods changes completely after you spend a month abstaining from it.

That’s right. ABSTINENCE. No cheat day. No slip-ups. No sneaking. This is why I need accountability.

This blog will be my way of keeping track of my month of discipline and rigidity. Anthony is supportive, and he will help to make sure my dinners are compliant since he is the main cook of the house. Next semester, I have 9 hours of classes, another 10 hour clinical internship, a 3-4 hour supervision internship, and my same 20 hour assistantship in addition to research and conference preparation.

Follow me as I try to navigate a strict food program, increase my exercise routine, and be a somewhat sane wife (though I may not be after I lose the 3 C’s: cheese, carbs, and chocolate) under my demands as a doc student!

If you have any experiences with the Whole30, let me know! I’d love to hear about them.